Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
