we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
