Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
