Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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