Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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