If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
