they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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