so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
