If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Pants are for mortals
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
