I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
