Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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