just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
