All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
