PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
