everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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