okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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