How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
