I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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