I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
