so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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