I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
