Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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