So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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