Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
