Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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