Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Randomize
