guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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