I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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