waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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