Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
