Apparently you make a good broom.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
