he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
