Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize