I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
