Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
