whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
