Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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