Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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