quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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