I bet he comes in French.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
