she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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