people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
