Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
