just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Duck Duck Cougar?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Randomize
