she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
