She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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