dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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