i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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