the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
