you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
