i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
