I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize