I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
