My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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