the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he thought i was a dude.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
