I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
