My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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