I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
