Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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