The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
