hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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