it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Still dying that you shit outside
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
