Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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