I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize