I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
